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<title>i was wrong. by satokeigo</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729665">i was wrong.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/satokeigo/pseuds/satokeigo'>satokeigo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>drabbles and whatnot [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>JO1 (Japan Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Break Up, M/M, Prompt Fill, ive always been really bad at ao3 tags</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:29:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/satokeigo/pseuds/satokeigo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>drabble based on the following 3 words:</p><p>"I was wrong."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kono Junki/Sato Keigo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>drabbles and whatnot [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i was wrong.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Junki needed some air.</p><p> </p><p>Desperately.</p><p> </p><p>It was 2:23am when Junki woke up to the sound of his heart beating louder than the sound of the rain beating against the windowpane. His chest was heaving and the room felt like it was spinning. God, he needed air. He felt a weight that should've been comforting, but instead, felt like the mound of dirt above a coffin. Restricting, crushing, entrapping, suffocating.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes flicked down to the body splayed across his torso. In the moonlight, he could see the man's face. Soft, rounded, pale. It should've been beautiful, to <em>anyone</em> it would've been beautiful, and that's what made Junki's throat burn the most. That he couldn't be like everyone else.</p><p> </p><p>It had been what, 3 months? 3 months and not a single thing had changed. 3 months of half-hearted kisses, of forced smiles, of living a lie that just wasn't ever going to become anything more. And when he heard the words while they both fell asleep, those 3 words right whispered unsuspectingly, Junki knew it was time.</p><p> </p><p>The older boy tried to get up from the bed slowly, but his mind was strangely both half asleep and racing wildly, which resulted in him fumbling rather than moving gracefully. He didn't make it off the edge of the bed before he heard it.</p><p> </p><p>A soft mumble sounded from the other boy, and then a yawn.</p><p> </p><p>Junki's heart raced. </p><p> </p><p>"J-Junki?" A voice whispered, laced with sleep. "Are you-", another yawn, "-okay?"</p><p> </p><p>Junki's back was faced to Keigo, and he was thankful because right now he really didn't want to look at him. Not now, especially not with the tears forming in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>When only the sound of thunder echoed in the room, Keigo got up, supporting himself on his elbows, and weakly rubbed at his eyes. Concern filled his voice. "Junki? Is something wrong? Are you feeling sick?"</p><p> </p><p><em>No</em>, he wanted to say, but the words were caught in the lump of silence in his throat. So instead, he shook his head gently and gazed down at the floor, picking at his sweatpants. Oh, if he could pull apart reality the way he was pulling at the loose thread of his pants. He'd rather be anywhere but here.</p><p> </p><p>"Did you have a nightmare?"</p><p> </p><p><em>Yes, except it never ends, even when I wake,</em> but again, he shook his head no.</p><p> </p><p>Keigo raised a brow, even if the other boy couldn't see. "So then come back to-"</p><p> </p><p>Finally, Junki mustered up the courage, a tear rolling down his cheek as the words slipped past the zipper he had kept so tightly locked since this whole thing began. "I can't do this anymore."</p><p> </p><p>Now Keigo was awake, and the concern was replaced with confusion. "Do what?" Junki heard movement behind him, but still refused to turn around. "Junki? What do you mean?"</p><p> </p><p>"I can't." He repeated. "I can't do <em>this</em> anymore."</p><p> </p><p>"But what-"</p><p> </p><p>"<em>This</em>, Keigo. <em>Us</em>. The lying, the pretending. I-I heard you, last night. When you whispered you loved me. I pretended to be asleep, but I heard it loud and clear." Junki finally turned around, and maybe the moonlight made the tear tracks on his face shine, but he didn't care. He needed to do this, and he needed to do this now, or else he would never forgive himself.</p><p> </p><p>Now Keigo sat up, and his face was plastered with shock. "Wh- Junki, I don't understand." He reached out to lay a hand on his boyfriend's, but was met with a dodge that felt like a stab in the chest.</p><p> </p><p>"I've tried, I've tried so hard to feel something, <em>anything</em>. But there's nothing there, there never has been and there never will be. I've been trying to keep you happy, to make you think that maybe we could work, but I know we can't. Because when you said that last night, all I felt was dread, and do you know how awful it feels to feel nothing but horror for when your own boyfriend tells you they love you?" Junki was sobbing now, balling up his sweatpants in his fists. His eyes darted away, he didn't dare look at Keigo anymore. "I feel awful, I feel so shitty for leading you on for so long, but I really <em>really</em> tried-"</p><p> </p><p>Now the blond was crying too, disbelief spilling from him. "Junki, s-stop -" But Junki kept going.</p><p> </p><p>"- to like you. To feel the sparks when we hold hands or the butterflies when we kiss. It's destroying me. I'm sorry, Keigo, I am, but I just-"</p><p> </p><p>"P-Please, stop, enough-" Keigo was begging, sick to his stomach at everything he was hearing. That these past few months were all a lie. That the love of his life felt nothing for him.</p><p> </p><p>"-I don't love you. I don't. And I absolutely hate myself for it, but I don't. I can't." A sob wracked through the room, but it wasn't from Junki. Lighting struck somewhere outside, illuminating the room, and for the first time that night, Junki saw Keigo clearly, and his heart sunk. This was all his doing. </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, Junki stood up, grabbing his backpack from the corner of the room. He needed to get out of here.</p><p> </p><p>"W-Wait, <em>please</em>, don't go, please d-don't leave me. Please, Junki." </p><p> </p><p>Junki stopped midway through the door, and turned to look at Keigo one last time. The way the sheets clung to him, his fit of his T-shirt on his now ex-boyfriend, the way his hair was tousled from the few hours of sleep they got, his hand outstretched in a weak attempt to hold on to what remained of their relationship.</p><p> </p><p>"I thought I could learn to love you, Keigo. But I was wrong."</p><p> </p><p>The slamming of the door behind him and the downpour of rain outside thankfully was enough to wash away the sound of wailing.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>for my good pal @jo1taku hope this satisfies your angst craving!</p><p>follow me on twitter @mugendies :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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